Sunday, January 5, 2014

{new year's resolutions - not for me}

January 1th feels like a new start and we make new (or old) resolutions for the new year. Sometimes we keep them, most of the times we don't, at least I don't. New year's resolutions are about change, may controle over our life, but certainly about inner growth.

Sometimes you can make resolutions and your year turns out very different from what you had in mind. Change and inner growth happen without you knowing, maybe even without you being ready for it.

Last year has been a year of learning for me, learning facts and getting to know myself better. A lesson taught, you might say.

Late April I was diagnosed with a mild heart attack by my general practitioner. Because of a holiday it took a week before I was able to see a cardiologist. He told me I did not have a heart attack but the echo showed some spots on my heart which weren't active enough, so he advised me to have a cardiac catheterisation.

Can I tell you I was scared? Especially the first week, I though I would have another heart attack and that would be the end of me. I was given 3 types of medication which made me tired, dizzy and sluggish. I really wished for one thing in those 8 weeks, to have my old life back.

And I am a lucky girl, my wish was granted. My heart was fine and I was able to stop with the medication.

An experience like that changes you forever, in my case for the better. Your computer and harddrive are reset. Suddenly things that seemed so important are not anymore. When my doctor told me about the heart attack my first thought was: I am the only one to blame for this and I need to change. Because I am a worrier. My glass was always half empty instead off half full.
One of my new year's resolutions has always been not to worry too much and I never managed ... until last year. I guess it takes something heart stopping (no pun intended ;-) )  to really really change you.
I still worry, but the "too much" is gone. I relax more and enjoy life more because of it and I lost an energy sucking habit.

So has this been a bad experience? At the time it was, in the long run it brought me contentment and inner growth.

Did you make new year's resolutions?

I found these wise words on IDA Interior Lifestyle

1 comment:

  1. Jeetje joh nou ik kan me voorstellen dat je toen even heel erg bang was en dat dit erg veel impact heeft gehad.
    Ja goede voornemens maak ik niet meer, weet gewoon dat ik ze toch niet waar maak en het komt toch zoals het komt.
    Je kunt wel alles gaan inplannen maar gezondheid is het belangrijkste wat er is en als en dan even een kink in de kabel komt staat alles even stil.
    Wat een geluk dat er verder niets aan de hand was met je hart.
    Nou meid blijf lekker genieten van het leven en heerlijk toch dat die zorgjes een beetje naar achteren worden gedreven?
    Liefs Gerda