Today it is a year ago since my mother passed away.
I can't believe a year already past. It only seems yesterday I wished her a happy new year, it was the last time I saw her alive. Can you believe that I missed her every single day and I may continue doing so for a long time.
In the past year I learned a thing or two. Mourning is like a road that you have to take. It is good and necessary as long as you make sure you don't get of the road.
Fortunately I have H. to keep me on that road.
I have been worrying a lot. Did I do everything right by her, was I a good daughter, why did she have to die so soon and so sudden. Questions that will never be answered.
I have to come to terms with that.
And there is another thing, I have to start looking into the future again. When I was 9 years old I had a teacher who never got over her parents death. She wasted her live, living like that.
My parents would not want me to live like that.
Neither do I.